I am back, with a vengeance.

It’s been quite some time since I last posted on the website. I apologize for the many many months of absence, I hope that you will all forgive me and continue coming back for updates as I plan on updating the site at least once a week from now on.

The good news is, the reason I haven’t been able to update the site is that business has been booming! For any of those who know me, you know that I’m in real estate and most people in real estate have not been doing well. Things for me have been so busy that I literally had no time.

Been so busy was quite an interesting experience, at times there was so much work to do that I wanted to just give it up, but I couldn’t, I really care for my clients and I wanted to make sure that I was doing the very best job possible for them.

You may be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with happiness?” My experience of this past year has shown me a few things and reiterated a few things to me that I already believed, when I began the site I was almost broke, but I was happy, I was able to sleep well at night and I knew that even if I didn’t have a lot of money that I had other things in my life that bring happiness. Like my family, and good friends, and of course music. Oftentimes we look at our life and we may blame external circumstances for why we feel that, oftentimes we blame the fact that we have no money for our being sad. Sometimes it even seems like there is nothing to be happy about. One thing I found out this past year is that it doesn’t matter how much money you have, I went from having nothing, to having more than I have ever had before in my life. And oddly enough I think back to the final months before business picked up and I realize that those were some of my happiest memories from this year.

And that I guess is the point, sometimes we spend all of our days wishing that things were different, we wish for something else, more money, a different family, may be an entirely different life. But what you have is all you have to work with, and if you spend your life constantly hoping that conditions around you will change, it will likely appear that they never do.

Happiness truly comes from inside you, it doesn’t come from anything outside, it comes from your heart. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, happiness is not something that you attain, it’s something that you are.

Yours In Happiness,

Keith

Separate or Connected?

In the Tao Te Ching there is a short part of one of the verses that reflects well how the world at large sees itself as separate from everyone else. It says the following;

All the world says,
“I am important;
I am separate from all the world.
I am important because I am separate,
Were I the same, I could never be important.”

This is a very general misconception that we often have as we look at ourselves and the world around us. The temptation is always there to see ourselves as separate from one another, and that the more we distinguish, or separate, ourselves from those around us, the more important we become. This is one of the great reasons behind much of the strife we encounter as we go through life.

Going through your days seeing yourself as separate from each person you encounter only distances you from that person, and until we can see that we are all one, we have little hope of solving the issues that the world now faces. This is at the core of the philosophy that I am sharing, while indeed happiness is found inside of you, it is also found inside each person you come in contact with. When we approach life seeing ourselves as connected to all people there is a very positive energy that comes with. Conversely if we see ourselves as separate from the world then each encounter we have with another individual will negatively impact both ourselves and the other person.

For example when we are driving along the highway, we often by default revert to seeing ourselves as separate from all the other people driving along the same road, and in seeing ourselves as separate we often enter into ridiculous little contest with other motorists, trivial things like pacing just ahead of the car next to you, or driving too close to the bumper of the car ahead of you because you feel he is not going fast enough. This is not something you would do if you were walking down the street, you would feel ridiculous indeed walking closely behind another person because you feel they are not walking fast enough. The reason that we behave differently when walking than we do when driving is because when we are walking we tend to see the other person as an individual, another human walking along, and as we walk along we feel more connected to that person. When we drive it’s a whole different situation. Inside of each car is a person, but while driving most people don’t see the other person, they simply see a vehicle, and when all you see is an object you act with greater indifference to that object.

But the truth is that we are all connected, human life on this planet progresses at a rate relative to how closely humans see themselves as connected to other humans. In what history of western civilization calls the “Dark Ages” we see that human progress slowed to a near halt for centuries, this is because the societal system was based on the acquisition of power over other people, those in power simply saw their “subjects” as objects with which they achieved their own desires, this extended from politics to religion and all avenues in between. In a society based on the gain of dominion over others there is really no room for society at large to progress. This is exactly what happened during this struggle through history.

As soon as ideas started surfacing throughout the world that “all men are created equal” we started to see the collective human consciousness awake as if from a deep sleep and as we progressed further into such great causes as equal rights for women, and ultimately equal rights for all people regardless of their origins we have seen huge strides in the progression of things that add to the general welfare of society, you can follow along and see that as more and more human rights were recognized more and more technological advances were made and with greater speed than ever. The printing press as developed by Johannes Gutenberg in the middle part of the 1400’s remained relatively unchanged until the early part of the 1800’s at which point the automated printing press came into being. We can look at technological advances since that time and be absolutely spellbound at the speed and ease with which technology has impacted our lives.

We now find ourselves at a crossroads, increasingly we are being convinced that we live in a world of “us versus them” whether it be as a result of political strife within our own country or if it is nation against nation, or even someone trying to convince us that we need to hate another group because they think differently than we do. This information is all around us and seems to be getting more and more forceful in its approach. We need to start turning off the voices out there that tell us that we are separate. We need to recognize that simply because we have ideological differences there is no reason that we must be enemies. Possibly the worst attitude to have is that “if you are not with me you are against me.” This is not true, the reality is that we are all together; we are all pieces of a great puzzle that in order to be complete requires all of us. The Dalai Lama is said to have stated that if every child on the planet meditated on compassion for others for just one hour a week that the world could, in a single generation, eradicate all of the societal plagues that torment our society. Can you imagine? One generation has the capability to put an end to worldwide hunger, and sickness, and most importantly war.

Remember to stay connected to those around you, treat everyone with the respect and love that you desire to be treated with. Let’s see if we can help raise the collective consciousness of the entire world, and who knows what kind of great strides will be made if we are able to not focus on our differences, but focus on the common goal. After all I think almost everybody in the world wants the same thing, peace and happiness in their own lives. And we can accomplish this by making sure that we are a source of peace and happiness, and not a source of hate and unrest.

Happiness Factor- What You See On The Inside, Is Who You Are On The Outside.

Have you ever told a lie? Even just a small misrepresentation of the facts? Maybe even something tiny that you were positive that no one would ever know? Did you feel better or worse after you did it? Chances are you felt like a liar, and I don’t say this to be cruel, it’s just a statement of the most likely outcome. Now some people would say that because you lied you felt like a liar, I say the inverse, because you felt like a liar, you lied.

How exactly does that work? It’s pretty simple, every action we perform begins as a thought, and that thought runs through all of our internal filters to see if it is congruent with our own perception of who we are, if the thought makes it through all the filters we naturally will be able to perform the action. If the thought conflicts with one of our inner values, the performance of the action gets called into question. This all happens in nanoseconds and we are generally unaware that we are even doing it, but essentially if you are a person who smiles at everyone you meet, it’s almost as though you don’t think about it, the thought becomes the action because it passes right through the filters, transversely if you are trying to smile at everyone you meet, but up until this point you have chosen to be a shy person then the action gets called into conflict with who you have defined yourself as being and you hesitate before performing the action. I believe that hesitation is the surest sign that you are contemplating an action that is inconsistent with at least part of your current definition of self.

Often times we have an inner conflict where two of our self defined values conflict, for example, most of the time you are a person who is 100% honest, while at the same time you have defined yourself as someone who needs the approval of others. When presented with the option of lying to gain the approval of others your mind weighs out which value is more important to you and chooses the action that is most consistent with the strongest value. If you go ahead with the lie, it shows that your need for others approval outweighs your own need to perceive yourself as an honest person, also if you choose to tell the truth and risk the disapproval of others, it shows that honesty is more important to you.

This may seem to conflict with the statement I made above that says “because you felt like a liar, you lied,” but further looking into it we can see that in order to lie we have to feel like a liar, so when we perform the action that is consistent with the stronger value we put aside the weaker value and choose not to define ourselves as an honest person, but we choose to define ourselves as a person seeking the approval of others, and in our minds to win the approval of others we feel that we must lie, and so we make the choice to lie, we become a liar, and then perform the act.

This is true of positive things as well, like I mentioned above, if you have defined yourself as a shy person, and you want to be more outgoing, you may choose to smile at each person you make eye contact with, this choice must overpower your own self perception as a shy person so that when the conflict arises as to whether or not you will smile at everyone you make eye contact with you need to see yourself on the inside as an outgoing friendly person, and the stronger you make that image on the inside, the higher the likelihood that you will be able to break through the old self perception and move in the direction that you feel will bring you more happiness.

What you perceive yourself to be on the inside is everything, so essentially any change you want to make in your life must start from inside of you, it’s not that when you achieve the result you will have succeeded, it’s when you see yourself as successful you will achieve the result. Whether it be greater happiness, inner peace, better relationships, or even greater financial prosperity, the first step is to see yourself as having accomplished what you desire, and when you truly see yourself as the person you want to be, your actions begin to fall in line with the self perception that you have created, and as you act consistently with your new values you will undoubtedly achieve those things that you want. You can have everything that you desire, just be the type of person that gets everything they desire.

Keith

Happiness Factor: Detaching From The Outcome

In the Bhagavad-Gita there exists an abundance of incredible information. As I was reading through it this morning I was struck by a passage that encapsulates so beautifully another way in which we can encounter peace. In Chapter 2 Krishna says to Arjuna, “Perform your duty equipoised, O Arjuna, abandoning all attachment to success or failure…” This short phrase is so very telling in both its depth and simplicity in that the only way to truly be fulfilled is through detaching yourself from the outcome of the activity in which you are engaged and perform that activity simply out of love.

One of the main causes for many people being unhappy is that they are dissatisfied with the condition in which they find themselves, they are unhappy with their job, or their relationships, or their physical appearance, the list can go on and on for centuries. The central theme is that people find themselves dissatisfied with the outcome they have achieved, but to me the root of the problem is that they have set up a certain expectation for themselves, and if that expectation is not met most people choose to go down a self destructive path. This is how most people end up being defined as “failures.” An interesting thing to note is that you are never a failure until you label yourself as such, if someone else labels you a failure it means nothing! But that is something we will get into another day.

But if we just set about at life, and live each moment as though it were the only moment we have (which it is), and put all of our very best energy into doing whatever it is that we are doing at that moment without concentrating on what will happen when it’s complete, or who will or will not be impressed by what we have accomplished we will find a whole new avenue of gratification opening up, we find that our abilities reach far beyond whatever our prior limitations were and discover whole new heights to which we can soar.

Oft times when we attempt to detach ourselves from the outcome we expect that in detaching ourselves from the outcome that the most favorable outcome will magically appear at all times, and when it doesn’t happen that way we become upset and fall back into old patterns of thinking. In reality we never left those old patterns of thought behind, we were attempting to detach only to try and achieve a particular result, but that’s not detachment, that’s delusion.

When we truly detach from the outcome we find that it does not matter what the result is, if we are going through life with enjoyment, and love, and satisfaction in what we do (trust me, you can be satisfied in what you currently do, in at least some way) we then discover that life is its own reward, and that it may not be that we will inherit all the riches of the world, or we may not inherit the perfect job, but when we live life to the fullest every day, without expecting anything in return we increase the amount of peace in our lives, I’m not saying resign yourself to your current position and stay there, not at all. I am saying when you have no attachment to the outcome you are not disappointed, you accept what has happened and move forward with your planned objectives instead of letting yourself become stopped by unfavorable circumstances.

Essentially we are looking again for peace, and as the Gita says, “how can there be any happiness without peace?”

Be peaceful, live your life to the fullest every day and separate yourself from the outcome, this is a surefire way to move ahead in your own self development.

Start from the inside

Take a look around you, look out a window if you can. Pay attention to all the things going on around you, look at the cars , the trees, maybe look at your child, who is vying for your attention in an unpleasant way. Look at these things, and read the following statement, “None of what you see is what determines your happiness”

None of it, happiness does not come from the things around you, it does not come from money, or well behaved children, or spare time, or a new boat, happiness does not come from any of these things, but our happiness is often determined by how we feel about these things, which is a whole different story altogether.

You may say, that it’s not true, how can I be happy if this or that is going on in the world? My question to you is, how would you feel if you did not know about it? You see whatever it is would still be happening, but your awareness would be different, so we can see, that the external event is not what makes us happy or unhappy, but it’s how we process that event.

Really stop and think about this, everything that we feel is a result of how we process the world around us, it is not a result of the world around us, when we decide to let the world be the world, and to control our own destiny, then we are able to make great strides, expecting the world to change to match your beliefs will never frustrate the world, but it will frustrate you.

It’s a very simple thing to control our thoughts, it’s not terribly easy, but it is very simple.

How To Get What You Really Want

When you are taking a picture, even in the age of digital cameras and auto-adjustments something has to happen before a clear photograph can be taken, when taking a picture, to get what you really want, you have to focus the camera. This is more than just pointing the camera in the general direction of what you want and hitting the button, you have to find what you are looking for, center on it, focus, and then snap your picture.

Life is no different, to get what you really want you have to do the same things, and getting what you really want is no more complicated then taking a picture, and you essentially just have to follow the very same steps;

1- Find out what you want- just like taking a picture you need to know what you want, you need to know exactly what you want, down to the smallest detail. You need to know what it looks like and most importantly you need to know what it feels like to already have what you want. And you do this by the process of visualization which is just ahead of us.
2- Center on it- You need to carry the image of what you want in the center of your thoughts, when something contrary to what you want enters the picture you need to let it pass right by and then re center your thoughts on what you want.
3- Focus- This is the key, once you have the image, and you have it in your mind you need to focus the image through visualization. In simple terms you make the image in your mind as sharp and bright and colorful as possible and you start to imagine yourself as having achieved whatever it is you really want, this needs to happen in order for you to get what you really want.
4- Take action- Just as a camera won’t take a picture unless you push the button, the things that you want will not magically appear in front of you if you don’t take positive steps towards their achievement, they don’t have to be huge steps, most great things are accomplished through “baby steps” and that is how you will get what it is you really want. When asked how he created something as perfect as the statue of David from a single block of marble Michelangelo is reported to have said something along the lines of “It is easy, you just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.” Great artworks and great accomplishments are not created overnight, they are created by chipping away until you have your dream in front of you.

There are many ways to get what you really want, and all of these involve focus, and concentrated effort to make your dream come true. Go ahead, give it a try, and make your dreams come true!

Physical Laws and Spiritual Laws

There’s a force all around us, it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not, it’s there, and the reason I say that is because whether you believe in a divine creation guided by intelligence, or if you hold fast to the theory that all things just sort of happened there is one thing that is for certain, life as we know it had to start somewhere, and there was some matter somewhere that existed prior to the creation of life, and if that matter existed at that time, it would stand to reason that the matter would exist now. So there is a formless substance all around us, because everything physical that we see, came from some physical root. Wallace Wattles calls this the “thinking stuff” I like to call it Creative Matter. And it is the stuff from which all you desire comes from, it is the power of God throughout the world, it is by and through this that all things have been, are, and will be made. I’m going to speak for a minute to the believers of a divine intelligence.

Many religions believe that God is a God of laws, some people have interpreted those laws differently than others, but essentially most people who believe in the divine, believe that he has laws, now I am not talking about the laws that have been handed to us through a particular religion, even though my own religion believe in laws pertaining to righteousness, I am speaking of the spiritual laws that govern the universe, the laws that make sure you fingers stay attached to your hand, the laws that make sure your heart keeps beating, the laws that stop the heart beat of that very same heart when it is time to stop. Some of these laws have been discovered, and science has taken them as their own, when people talk of Physics, I just see God’s perfect laws functioning exactly as they should.

The laws that many obey in their chosen faith are what I like to call the lesser laws, these are laws that revolve around a specific physical action, and the Ten Commandments for example are some very physical laws. These are things that you do with your body or the body of others, the higher laws I am speaking about is the laws that you adhere to with your soul. They are what I call spiritual laws, and they are simple to define and difficult to master, but once you master the spiritual laws, the physical, or lesser laws cease to be relevant, because your spirit has gained mastery over your body, all the physical “temptations” that may have surrounded you are gone, not because they have ceased to exist, but because you are living in and coming from a higher place. Christ was tempted in “all things” yet he had spiritual mastery, and nothing could divert him from his higher purpose, in the bible we read the account of 3 temptations in which the devil is said to have appeared and tempted Christ in 3 things, and in all 3 christ won.
If we master the spiritual laws, we become captains of our souls, but to reach this level of higher awareness sometimes we have to start with the physical to clear out all the static and get tuned into our higher purpose.

There are other things we can do that move us into a higher spiritual plane, or a higher vibration if you will, and again none of these are rooted in any one religious belief, although at first glance they may look that way, the reason that it may seem “religious” to some is because many people confuse religion with spirituality, now you can be faithful to a particular religious belief (as I am) and still be spiritual, in the terms that I am using, spiritual means recognizing that you are not your body, you are the spirit that inhabits the body. For example if you look at what your physical body is made of, if you take it apart and put it all in piles, there is really nothing to differentiate you from say, a cow, or a chimpanzee. So what is it that makes you able to function in a place of higher intelligence, what is it that gives you the ability to speak, and to reason, and to act. We know it cannot be the brain that is different because we have found that the brain of many creatures in the animal kingdom is similar enough to ours, no, it isn’t the brain that puts our consciousness above that of the ape. It is our spirit, and when you can look at yourself and see that you are not your body, and you are not what you do, that you are not a “human being having a spiritual experience” but that you are indeed a “spiritual being having a human experience” just that slight change of words can make all the difference in your life.

Inner Peace and How to Deal With Anger

Inner peace seems to be the goal of any individual and why wouldn’t it be, and when I say “inner peace” I’m not talking about some sort of crazy “live one the top of a mountain and exist on nothing but sunshine and rainbows” sort of thing. I’m simply talking about freeing yourself from that gnawing feeling that most of us carry around in the pit of our stomachs, that intense feeling of “something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is” that we all experience on a daily basis. Most of us will blame it on something external from ourselves; we blame this feeling on a general lack of money, or the inability to spend our time doing what we sincerely want to do. We may even resign ourselves to the fact that we will always have that feeling, and that is part of life and that we should just “suck it up” and go along with the status quo.
I have an interesting point to make on this particular topic, and that point is that any anxious feelings that you have right now are not coming from anything outside of you. Now what do I mean by this? Simply put you choose each second of each day how you will feel, you choose each time you are presented with a situation how you will respond to that situation. Here is the boldest message I have for you when you are sad, angry, hurt, nervous, or any one of a myriad of negative emotions it is because you have chosen that emotion as a response to a particular stimulus. Whenever I share this statement with people it always elicits the same response, “but how can I be happy when (insert negative situation) is happening in my life?” and I always say the same thing, “I never said you had to be happy about it, I just said you didn’t have to be sad/angry/hurt about it.”
I have had people get very angry with me for sharing my thoughts with them on this, especially those who are currently passing through some sort of crisis in life, and there are reasons for that, there’s a popular thought in society today that anger is a healthy thing, that if you don’t let your anger out you will one day explode. But it is in fact much different than that, anger is not a healthy thing, and letting your raw emotion fly as anger is not helpful nor will it ever be so, modern day psychology will disagree with me but the ancient teachings that have been around and proven to work over hundreds and even thousands of years tell us that anger is not good, for example Confucius taught, “when anger rises, think of the consequences” and in Paul’s Epistle to the Colossians we read, “But ye also put off these, anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy…” (Col 3:8). Now I’m not saying that it’s good to hold the anger inside, I am saying that the existence of anger in you is unnecessary that it is an energy that you willingly take on when you encounter a certain experience, you have the ability to always choose your response, the only reason it feels like you have no control is because you have chosen anger as a response so frequently that it is now a habit, but it is still your choice. The same goes for sadness, nervousness, frustration and any other responses that you currently feel are out of your control.
The good news is you can change that choice, and make a better one; it’s simple, but not always easy. The first thing you have to do is form the habit of asking yourself the following question before you respond to a situation that can potentially make you respond in a negative way. That question is, “Will responding in this way bring more peace to my life?” This step alone may change the way you do everything, because essentially you are doing as Confucius taught, you are thinking “of the consequences.”
The next thing you can do is channel that energy another way. I believe that there is no negative energy that exists that cannot be converted into positive energy. Some of our most beautiful works of music have come from the composer taking what could have been negative energy and channeling that energy into creation of something so sublime that centuries later it is revered as a masterpiece. The suggestion here is to do the same; even something as simple as writing a letter that you will never send can pull that energy in another direction, go running, lift weights, write a poem, write a song, do anything that uses energy in a positive way. The worst possible thing you can do is sit and fester on that negative emotion, as that can only breed more negativity. Go out and do something and you will see that you do not have to respond to a negative situation with a negative response.
And lastly when you feel that uncomfortable feeling rising in your stomach you can make it go away, by doing something. I’m not suggesting that you forget about your responsibilities, just that you approach them with a different response in mind, when things are hard, as they often are you can either make them harder by reacting in your preconditioned way, or you can make them easier by responding with action. There is nothing on this earth that you cannot achieve, nothing!

Happiness First, Then Success

There are millions of people out there with essentially the same thought process, and that thought is , “If I only had more money than I would be happy.” There is only one problem with this kind of thinking, and that is that thinking this way is complete and utter crap. All it shows is that these people don’t understand money, don’t get me wrong for me at least having more money makes it easier to not be stressed, but it does not bring the happiness, money just magnifies what is already inside you, so if you are looking to money to be the solution to all that ails you, well you will have a rude awakening in the future.

It’s easy to see where this common misconception started, you see a rich person, they have a sweet car, a big house and go to Hawaii every year, you think to yourself, “gosh, I’d like a nice car, an awesome house, and to go to Hawaii every year would be great! Those things would really make me happy.” So then you assume that this particular person in having what you perceive as wealth must be happy, when all too often that person is living paycheck to paycheck the way millions of people do, and they are just as desperate to create long term wealth as you are.

Also you can look around you at people who are rich and unhappy as proof that it’s not the money that brings happiness, money is not the magic bullet, but that said it is a necessity once you’ve taken care of your inside game. Because ultimately money is the medium through which you will be able to achieve the success you so longingly hope for, it’s hard to affect the positive changes that people want to without the aid of a good size bank account, so just remember that the money is to help you fulfill your major purpose in life, and nobody’s purpose is to sit around and live like a hog.

But back to the question of how to change what is inside you so that money can come to you, and when it does it will magnify the wonder and happiness that is already inside you, as opposed to the fear that most people carry around in their chest cavity like it’s some sort of fear storage, let me tell you that as you move forward you may feel an emptiness in that area, because the fear will be gone, and you may not know how to immediately fill that space with happiness, just know that having nothing there is much better than having a bunch of crap there making you crazy.

There is a science to happiness, you see most people look around themselves, see what is happening and then decide to be happy or sad based on what they see. If they see war, and poverty and death they will likely choose sadness, if they see joy and happiness around them then the obvious choice is happiness. The only problem with this is that it is backwards! You can’t look around you and then determine whether or not you will be happy, all you do when you do that is hand your free will to someone else, just like deciding to be rich before you become rich you must decide to be happy before you can really become so.